Dead Ted Kennedy Jokes

celebrity-deaths, celeb-jihad

Ted Kennedy the beloved murdering alcoholic from Massachusetts has died of brain cancer. Let us honor his memory with some dead Ted Kennedy jokes.


  • What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Teddy Kennedy? About 2 months of decay!
  • Ted Kennedy has been sober for 12 hours now.
  • Ted Kennedy carries on the tradition of his brothers by dying with something lodged in his brain.
  • What did Teddy tell Mary Jo when he found out she was pregnant? We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.
  • I wonder if Ted Kennedy’s funeral will be open bar?
  • Ted also had a plan to stimulate the Auto industry but his program was called “cash for kerplunkers”.
  • How did people find out Ted was dead? He didn’t show up to the bar this morning.
  • I’d rather go hunting with Cheney than driving with Ted Kennedy.
  • Ted Kennedy never became president because unlike George Washington, he couldn’t cross a river.
  • Ted is dead, its all just water under the bridge now.
  • With news of Ted’s death, the Massachusetts liquor industry is now going to need a bailout.
  • What’s black, white and hungry? Ted Kennedy’s cat!