What Celebrity Dick Tastes Like!

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It’s Gay Pride Week, or at least that’s what my dad told me. In honor of this momentous occasion the boys at CelebJihad have gone a little gay and compiled the following list of what celebrity dick tastes like!

 

celeb-jihadMike Myers’ dick tastes like it’s been fucking the same dead horse since 1997.
celeb-jihadPete Wentz’s dick tastes like it wishes it was Tony Romo’s dick.
celeb-jihadTony Romo’s dick tastes like Joe Simpson’s breath mints.
celeb-jihadGuy Richie’s dick tastes like buyer’s remorse and dusty sardines.
celeb-jihadBill Engvall’s dick tasted so mind-numbing trite that I would’ve gladly taken it out of my mouth and replaced it with a loaded shotgun.
celeb-jihadTom Cruise’s dick will taste like my ass if his lawyers find out I’ve implied it tastes like anything other than his beautiful wife’s vagina.
celeb-jihadRandy Jackson’s dick tastes like flop sweat and bacon.
celeb-jihadGeorge Carlin’s dick tastes like 3 of the 7 words you can’t use on television…and formaldehyde.
celeb-jihadI thought that Alan Greenspan’s dick tasted like pickled herring, but it may have been Barbara Walters.
celeb-jihadR. Kelly’s dick tastes like our judicial system’s torn and bloodied asshole…and piss-covered Thin Mints.
celeb-jihadJ. Alexander’s dick…I’m not even going to bother with a joke. Just fucking look at him, for fuck’s sake. What the fuck, man? What the fuck?
celeb-jihadBill Clinton’s dick tastes like a bitter, angry cunt. Just kidding! It hasn’t tasted like that since the night Chelsea was conceived. These days it tastes like various hotel maids and a certain Laker Girl who’d better know how to keep her mouth shut.
celeb-jihadBarrack Obama’s dick tastes completely overrated, but at least he has one (ZING!)! Besides, it was a nice change of pace from having George Bush’s dick in my ass.
celeb-jihadThe Dalai Lama’s dick tastes like it’s been in some sort of gerbil nest.
celeb-jihadChris Hanson’s dick tastes like cookies and lemonade.
celeb-jihadBig Brown’s dick tastes like it’s been in an ass. GET IT?!
celeb-jihadPerez Hilton’s dick tastes like it’s been in an ass. GET IT?!
celeb-jihadCharlton Heston’s dick tastes like his cold, dead hand.

Not a gay dude? Don’t feel left out! Lesbians can check out our Pulitzer-Prize winning article on celebrity vagina. Bisexual? Read both. Transgender? Go fuck yourself (ZING!)!

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